3 weeks ago I finished my last round of chemo! I never thought I’d get here but I did! It’s definitely not the end of my cancer journey but it’s one step closer. And if there’s anything I learned about fighting cancer, it’s that you have to take it one step at a time, or else it all gets overwhelming. So for the next month, I will celebrate this milestone and be thankful that I got here!
Today, I decide to dwell on the good. When I was diagnosed with cancer I was devastated. I couldn’t think of anything good that would come out of this but there was a silver lining… and that silver lining was YOU!
Since I have been diagnosed, I have received so much support and love from friends and family. It has been amazing to see how so many people care to a point that it brings me to tears. So many of you have been reading my blog entries and have been giving me compliments on it. It means so much to me that you care enough to read this and that you are trying to understand what I'm going through. So thank you!
When I initially opened up and revealed my diagnoses, I was showered with gifts. I received care packages in the mail from friends and family from all over the country. It’s funny because I think there is some notion that people going through chemo should be sitting on a couch with warm socks wrapped in a blanket sipping tea because I have never received so many fuzzy socks, blankets and boxes of tea bags in my life! My dining room table was covered with vases of flowers. I received countless meal deliveries without asking. One day I even had a postmates delivery guy just show up to my place with Randy’s donuts which I hadn’t ordered. It was a surprise delivery! My local LA friends took me out to lunches and of course no one would ever let me pay! I received gift baskets with beautiful cards with messages that I read over and over to help me keep going during the last 5 months. I received countless encouraging text and FB messages. I heard from people from different times of my life. I heard from people I had lost touch with and hadn’t spoke to for years. Many shared their experience with cancer. I didn’t even know some of these people had gone through the cancer journey. Some just texted me funny memes and gifs to make me laugh.
Of course, I cannot forget the ‘go fund me’ that two of my dear friends set up for me. So many people donated to my fund. People I didn’t even know directly donated because my friends reposted the fund on their FB page. Dan and I were both speechless at how generous people were. We didn’t expect any of this. We were just hoping for a little extra money to offset the cost of my cold cap treatments to help preserve my hair because it’s so expensive to do it. I almost didn’t do it because of the cost but because of this fund, I was able to. Not only did the fund help me pay for ALL of the cold cap treatment, but it also has helped me pay for my co-pays associated with my chemo regimen which, despite having good insurance, is still expensive.
Of course, the cynical side of me thought that all of this couldn’t last long. I understand that everyone is busy with work, their kids/families. I have cancer, but everyone else’s life will go on as it had been before my diagnosis. I expected to be slowly forgotten… but I was wrong. I continued to get weekly texts, phone calls. I had visitors and lunch meet up with friends every 3 weeks during my “good week” when I wasn’t feeling ill. I still wasn’t allowed to pay for any of the meals! I had two friends from college visit me from out of town. I continued to get packages in the mail with thoughtful gifts. In fact, this past weekend, I got a package with gifts from my high school friends. People continued to come over to help with Landon and to help walk our dogs (especially my brother and sister-in-law). My dining room table still has vases full of flowers. I am still getting cards in the mail. All of this love & support has not stopped.
I cannot describe how grateful I am, how lucky and blessed I feel. I will never be able to repay everyone for all of this but I know that eventually I will do everything I can to pay it forward. All of THIS… all of YOU have helped me keep my spirits up through this journey. I could not have made it this far without YOU. I need you to know that. THANK YOU!
